Monday, October 14, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
So Quotable
Today I thought I would be nice and include some direct quotes from my potential suitors:
"hey there saw you in my matches and wanted to introduce myself. My name is (BLOCK HIS NAME). Im interested in talking further. let me know"
I am never going to not go out with a guy because of this but is it so much to ask that you put a little effort into typing an email? It's not like he wrote a long paragraph - it was three and a half sentences (if you can call them that). He seems like a nice, good-looking guy so I intend on responding EVEN THOUGH his proflie mispels everie sinlge wrod.
" I noticed we have so much in common and I hope we ll have the opportunity to get along much more in the future...I have been to California in November 2011 where I stayed most of time, so I would love to meet up new people, I like to talk and have smart conversations, I m quite sure you are great person and I m all hope you ll write me back and keep in touch, plz do accept my best regards, yr true friend "
Inside the elipses was another paragraph about himself, his job, and his education. He has a PhD and lives in Morocco so yeah we have so much in common - I mean we have both been to California! His profile would definitely attract me until the second line about the whole Morocco thing. Here I was about to complain about the dude in College Station that I was matched with - this guy makes him seem next door. Luckily, we are true friends now so he will understand when I tell him that Morocco isn't even on my bucket list.
"Is it a burden to be so beautiful?"
Well, since you asked - yes. I hate it. I hate that every guy is stumbling over chairs at bars to hit on me. IT SUCKS. No girl in this world would like that. My question in response - Is it a burden to retype that same cheesy line to every girl you are matched with?
On the positive side, I did get winked at by a 6'8 dude in scrubs. Granted he could just be at the birth of his first child but here's to hoping it's his profession. I winked back. It's kind of like poking on Facebook - I don't get it but it's cute, right?
"hey there saw you in my matches and wanted to introduce myself. My name is (BLOCK HIS NAME). Im interested in talking further. let me know"
I am never going to not go out with a guy because of this but is it so much to ask that you put a little effort into typing an email? It's not like he wrote a long paragraph - it was three and a half sentences (if you can call them that). He seems like a nice, good-looking guy so I intend on responding EVEN THOUGH his proflie mispels everie sinlge wrod.
" I noticed we have so much in common and I hope we ll have the opportunity to get along much more in the future...I have been to California in November 2011 where I stayed most of time, so I would love to meet up new people, I like to talk and have smart conversations, I m quite sure you are great person and I m all hope you ll write me back and keep in touch, plz do accept my best regards, yr true friend "
Inside the elipses was another paragraph about himself, his job, and his education. He has a PhD and lives in Morocco so yeah we have so much in common - I mean we have both been to California! His profile would definitely attract me until the second line about the whole Morocco thing. Here I was about to complain about the dude in College Station that I was matched with - this guy makes him seem next door. Luckily, we are true friends now so he will understand when I tell him that Morocco isn't even on my bucket list.
"Is it a burden to be so beautiful?"
Well, since you asked - yes. I hate it. I hate that every guy is stumbling over chairs at bars to hit on me. IT SUCKS. No girl in this world would like that. My question in response - Is it a burden to retype that same cheesy line to every girl you are matched with?
On the positive side, I did get winked at by a 6'8 dude in scrubs. Granted he could just be at the birth of his first child but here's to hoping it's his profession. I winked back. It's kind of like poking on Facebook - I don't get it but it's cute, right?
Friday, September 27, 2013
Big Head
I can honestly say that I think online dating might be the greatest thing in the world for one's ego. In three days, I have had 19 males email me expressing interest. Granted I have only returned two but that's okay, right? Any girl who is feeling sorry for themselves should just join match.com - all the sudden you will feel like the most popular kid in school. Not that I was feeling sorry for myself - I'm just saying - I might be cocky as hell the next time you see me. OH WAIT - it might be a good idea to tell you more about these 19 people...
- Asian guy who is 6'8 (Yao Ming??) - his favorite TV shows are Friends, Seinfeld and Desperate Housewives. Either this guy has been extremely unsuccessful on Match and has been on there for 10+ years or he is not quite the TV enthusiast I am. And is it okay to be bothered by the Desperate Housewives part? Doesn't exactly exude manly but whatever.
- Pro Poker Player - Ummm, not exactly a girls dream for a potential suitor much less a future father of their kid. I can see it now, "Honey, I lost our kids college fund this weekend but don't worry I will get back next week." Perfect.
- Three different guys that describe themselves as witty in their profile name - like WittyBoyfromPearland type. Seems to me that someone who is truly witty wouldn't have to describe himself as such - it would be obvious in your profile.
- One guy likes my "smiles" - uhhh, am I missing something? I have one picture on my profile and only one smile. Maybe he drinks as much as me and was just seeing double - dammit I shouldn't have closed him.
- Lots and lots of old men - well significantly older than me. Like 20+ years older - apparently Match doesn't give a shit about the age requirements I included.
- A newcomer to Houston straight from Iraq - in which he says if you have a problem with that then that's your problem. Thanks Captain Obvious. Bitter - party of one.
- One guy has 16 pictures - the first 15 were date stamped in 2007 then there was ONE from 2012 - I think maybe he became a "foodie" in those five years.
- There is an option to make some one your favorite and one guy did that - then Match told me I had been fave'd. Fave'd!! I mean I have never been fave'd before so I wanted to Fave'd the guy back for fave'ding me. Fave'ding might be the most kind compliment ever. I am going to fave'd everyone from here on out just so I can brighten their day and maybe it will be a day on the calendar to be fave'd.
- First sentence on one jackasses profile - "The number one cause of divorce is...getting married...JK...LOL." REALLY? An LOL in the first line dude? Males should never be allowed to LOL - NEVER. Oh wait - no one should. If you are an LOL'er then please do me a favor. Next time you want to send an LOL, please tell me if you are actually laughing out loud. And who ever said that before the acronym was created? I never told people I was laughing out loud - I would just laugh and it happened to be out loud. Oh yeah, and what a stupid intro line on a dating site.
- I was asked to "Send a line" to a guy - who knew there was drug trafficking on a dating site.
- And for one of the only "good" ones - I responded to his email several days later. His immediate response is that his subscription ends this weekend so he needs my number NOW because he is really interested. Sorry, but that is a little creepo to me - just pay the $20 for another month if you are really that interested. Am I right or just being silly?
This shit is hilarious.
- Asian guy who is 6'8 (Yao Ming??) - his favorite TV shows are Friends, Seinfeld and Desperate Housewives. Either this guy has been extremely unsuccessful on Match and has been on there for 10+ years or he is not quite the TV enthusiast I am. And is it okay to be bothered by the Desperate Housewives part? Doesn't exactly exude manly but whatever.
- Pro Poker Player - Ummm, not exactly a girls dream for a potential suitor much less a future father of their kid. I can see it now, "Honey, I lost our kids college fund this weekend but don't worry I will get back next week." Perfect.
- Three different guys that describe themselves as witty in their profile name - like WittyBoyfromPearland type. Seems to me that someone who is truly witty wouldn't have to describe himself as such - it would be obvious in your profile.
- One guy likes my "smiles" - uhhh, am I missing something? I have one picture on my profile and only one smile. Maybe he drinks as much as me and was just seeing double - dammit I shouldn't have closed him.
- Lots and lots of old men - well significantly older than me. Like 20+ years older - apparently Match doesn't give a shit about the age requirements I included.
- A newcomer to Houston straight from Iraq - in which he says if you have a problem with that then that's your problem. Thanks Captain Obvious. Bitter - party of one.
- One guy has 16 pictures - the first 15 were date stamped in 2007 then there was ONE from 2012 - I think maybe he became a "foodie" in those five years.
- There is an option to make some one your favorite and one guy did that - then Match told me I had been fave'd. Fave'd!! I mean I have never been fave'd before so I wanted to Fave'd the guy back for fave'ding me. Fave'ding might be the most kind compliment ever. I am going to fave'd everyone from here on out just so I can brighten their day and maybe it will be a day on the calendar to be fave'd.
- First sentence on one jackasses profile - "The number one cause of divorce is...getting married...JK...LOL." REALLY? An LOL in the first line dude? Males should never be allowed to LOL - NEVER. Oh wait - no one should. If you are an LOL'er then please do me a favor. Next time you want to send an LOL, please tell me if you are actually laughing out loud. And who ever said that before the acronym was created? I never told people I was laughing out loud - I would just laugh and it happened to be out loud. Oh yeah, and what a stupid intro line on a dating site.
- I was asked to "Send a line" to a guy - who knew there was drug trafficking on a dating site.
- And for one of the only "good" ones - I responded to his email several days later. His immediate response is that his subscription ends this weekend so he needs my number NOW because he is really interested. Sorry, but that is a little creepo to me - just pay the $20 for another month if you are really that interested. Am I right or just being silly?
This shit is hilarious.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Match This
Well, I signed up for Match.com today. Why? Well, the stellar dating experiences I have had in the last 6 months made me wish I was online dating. Yep, that bad. I decided to go with a different site this time just to see what happens.
In the 8 minutes since I posted a very blah and unfinished profile, this is what I have received:
- A "wink" from a 26 year-old dude who is 5'4.
- An email from a guy telling me he likes my smile. I assume he must have a terrible smile because all 26 pictures are from 100 yards away.
- A "match" with a guy who hates drinking, hates conservative people, hates that he moved to Texas and hates girls who have good jobs.
- A profile of two different people I know - one of which was on eHarms back in the day.
There you have it, I don't foresee this going well.
In the 8 minutes since I posted a very blah and unfinished profile, this is what I have received:
- A "wink" from a 26 year-old dude who is 5'4.
- An email from a guy telling me he likes my smile. I assume he must have a terrible smile because all 26 pictures are from 100 yards away.
- A "match" with a guy who hates drinking, hates conservative people, hates that he moved to Texas and hates girls who have good jobs.
- A profile of two different people I know - one of which was on eHarms back in the day.
There you have it, I don't foresee this going well.
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