Dating sucks...

When I first started writing this blog, my only intent was to let my friends laugh with me at what can other wise be known as a pretty sucky situation.   Online dating or really dating in general sucks in so many ways.   When it works out, it's great but it doesn't work out a whole lot more than it does.   Over time, the blog came to be a little more than that.   Well, it was spread to more people.   Because of that, I have been very reluctant to write about a lot of stuff that is on my mind which has totally taken the fun out of it.   Without a doubt, I am much more reserved about what I say and I am way more careful about who I say anything about.   For the first year or so, this was kind of a release for me - a way to laugh off what I find to be a very difficult process.  

Let me explain - I am clearly not good at dating or the beginning stages of dating.   I know with all confidence if I am interested in a person pretty immediately.   I will never understand dating to date and, therefore, will never let something go on that I see no future in.   With that being said, I am sure I have passed over some really amazing guys but for whatever reason they weren't for me.   In addition, it makes for a whole lot of first dates and not a lot of second ones.   For the most part, first dates suck but most of the time they are a funny story.  But let's say for some remarkable reason, the first date goes great and I am really looking forward to number two.   This process also sucks.   The giddy feeling hoping and willing your phone to ring (or beep for a text) is really fun when your phone actually rings.   When it doesn't, it sucks.

If I have said it once, I have said it 100 times - I suck at the games.   If a guy that I am interested in calls or texts, I answer as soon as I am able to.   I don't know how to wait a day to call back or wait several hours to text back and I don't really get the concept.   In fact, the game turns into way more of a turnoff for me than the opposite.   After the initial wait a few days to call thing and then make plans a few days in advance so as to show you have a life, I am done.   I am guessing that my inability to play games has turned off guys in the past and so be it.  Clearly, we weren't meant to be and if I had never dated anyone in the past, I might question my methods but that just isn't the case.

With all that being said, dating (especially in your 30's) can really suck but I choose not to let it get to me.  A few years ago, I chose to laugh about it.  I chose to embrace the humor in online dating.   And, I chose to let my friends laugh with me.   Unfortunately, that has significantly changed and I no longer feel the release in writing this.   I still choose to laugh about dating but just not publicly for just anyone to read.     

Just so you know, there is not one incident that happened that is causing me to write this.   I just no longer feel like it is fun anymore.   I feel like I can talk zero about the guy I am excited about because I am positive it will get back to him.   I feel like some friends have completely stopped communicating with me because they can just read my blog to find out what I am up to.   I also feel like I have offended people accidentally and that was never my intent.    For now, I am done.   Not with dating but with writing about it.