I will never forget being woken up at 6 a.m. by the incessant ringing of our apartment phone. My roommates and I were Juniors in college and we all worked at a local sandwich deli. We were notorious for not making it in on time to work - our boss would schedule us for an hour earlier than he expected us to show up. He knew good and well that three newly twenty-one year olds could not meet a 9 a.m. requirement so he would just start calling our house to wake us up about 30 minutes before we really needed to be there. So, November 18th was no different - in my mind. Our boss was calling to wake us up and we would ignore the first few calls. Except this time, the phone never stopped ringing. And this time it was a lot earlier than usual. After about an hour, I finally snapped to and realized I needed to answer the phone. It was my dad and hearing my voice brought tears to his eyes. He went on to inform me that the Bonfire had collapsed and he knew I wouldn't be there but just had to make sure. As I was talking to him, the phone beeped in - it was K's dad. I woke her up and let her hear the same news - she too was interrupted by the phone ringing. A's dad had been trying all morning long to make sure his daughter was safe as well. The three of us got up from our hungover state and sat in the living room with the TV on and our jaws dropped - bawling. I will never forget that day and the days to follow. I will never forget how proud I was of the school I didn't realize I loved so much.
You see, I was what most people would call a two percenter. I thought a lot of Texas A&M's traditions were silly and I was way too cool for them. I would go to an occasional football game but the one thing I never missed was Bonfire. It was the one Tradition that I loved. Going out to that field with thousands and thousands of other people before the big Texas game, where every one was bundled together singing the Aggie War Hymn and doing yells - it was awesome. In the three months before, you would drive by the entrance to campus and see the progression of the ginormous stack. To say it was impressive does not even close to explain it. The time and effort people put in to build that thing was beyond me but I was so glad they did it. So in 1999, when it collapsed just days before it was to be lit, the school was shocked to see it fall. I remember thinking at first - well it was 3 a.m. so surely there were only a few people out there and clearly they would not be hurt. Wrong, oh so wrong. My roommates and I had to go to work where the entire deli staff just stood in front of the TV the whole day. One by one, the death toll increased and the news got harder and harder to hear but we were glued.
K and I wanted to do something - help in some way so we went out to the sight. There were people everywhere - you could not park within a mile of the campus. The volunteers were incredible and we watched as student after student helped remove the wood from the fallen stack. It was so amazing to see an entire compass come together like that.
Just a few days later, when the Bonfire was supposed to burn - there was a candlelight vigil at the sight and I would venture to say over a hundred thousand people gathered to pay tribute to the 12 students that were killed. We all walked in silence into Kyle Field where they were going to continue the tradition of having the yell practice. After filling the stadium, the lights went on and there was not a dry eye in the place. The next day was the big game and we were definitely not favored to win. But, that football team played there heart out and upset our biggest rival. Texas fans were amazingly gracious and their bands tribute at halftime was nothing less than spectacular. I was so proud of my school and I don't remember ever feeling that before.
To this day, I think I love A&M more because of 11-18-99. It's hard to explain what it was like to be there during that time, but I am so glad I was. Yes, I still find some traditions silly and I totally understand why people say some of the things they do about Aggies. But you can't say that the bond A&M has is not incredible. I can't believe it was 12 years ago...
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
What Not to Say...
My post last week about what not to say to kid-less people has sparked many a conversation and has some what created this post.
What Not to Say to Single People
1. "Oh you are so cute, why don't you have a boyfriend?" - Uh, well because I guess my personality sucks? This comment is most common when talking to my mom's friends. While they mean it with the best of intentions, I never know how to answer this.
2. "You are so picky." - Well, excuse me for not wanting to settle for someone that I am not interested in. Every single person has different "Must-Have's" in what they are looking for in a partner - mine might be considered picky to you but I guarantee you there is something that you consider a turn off that I would find comical.
3. "You should totally like So-And-So." - While I am sure he is meant for someone, I can not make myself like someone. 9 times out of 10 you wouldn't like the person you are trying to persuade me to fall for either.
4. "You are so lucky you are single - marriage is hard." - I bet and Lord knows I have no interest in partaking in something that might be challenging.
5. "You should try online dating - my sister's friends cousins cat totally met the One on eHarms." - Every single time I hear this, I want to look at the person and say - have you tried it? Would you ideally have liked to have met your husband via the Internet? Don't suggest it until you try it.
6. "Go out on the dance floor and catch that bouquet - you're single." - I am well aware that I am single and I am also well aware that the DJ is screaming for All the Single Ladies to get on the dance floor. Clearly, I don't want to so leave me alone.
7. "There are plenty of fish in the sea." - No shit. No part of me thinks the pond has dried up - I have not once complained that there are no single men left. Yes, I think the fish on eHarmony are from a different school but I am well aware that there are plenty of great single men.
8. "Are you gay?" - Yep. I haven't dated a guy for a few years so I decided to change to gay. My best friend and I are together often (as we always have been) but since we haven't met the right men, we just decided to date each other. Shhhhhh, don't tell.
9. "Maybe you are not looking in the right places." - Yeah, no shit Sherlock. Hopefully, you are going to tell me next that I should go to the Singles class at church.
10. "If you stop looking, you will totally find him." - Does that mean I have to leave my binoculars at home?
11. "You need to put yourself out there more." - I need to put out? I thought the Rules told me to wait until at least the second date.
And last but certainly not least...
12. "It will happen when you least expect it." - If you have read this blog at all, you should have known this one was coming. What you mean to say is that you will be surprised by some part of the scenario when you meet the right person. When I least expect it is when it is least likely to happen - like when I am sleeping, or when I am at my parents house for dinner, or when I am in the public bathroom at work.
Let me be clear about something, these conversations are typically with a random acquaintance that has chosen to feel sorry for me because I am not married. What I really want to say is thank you for your very unsolicited advice but no part of me is worried that I won't meet the right person. I can honestly say that I have never been happier so please, please don't decide that me being single means otherwise.
What Not to Say to Single People
1. "Oh you are so cute, why don't you have a boyfriend?" - Uh, well because I guess my personality sucks? This comment is most common when talking to my mom's friends. While they mean it with the best of intentions, I never know how to answer this.
2. "You are so picky." - Well, excuse me for not wanting to settle for someone that I am not interested in. Every single person has different "Must-Have's" in what they are looking for in a partner - mine might be considered picky to you but I guarantee you there is something that you consider a turn off that I would find comical.
3. "You should totally like So-And-So." - While I am sure he is meant for someone, I can not make myself like someone. 9 times out of 10 you wouldn't like the person you are trying to persuade me to fall for either.
4. "You are so lucky you are single - marriage is hard." - I bet and Lord knows I have no interest in partaking in something that might be challenging.
5. "You should try online dating - my sister's friends cousins cat totally met the One on eHarms." - Every single time I hear this, I want to look at the person and say - have you tried it? Would you ideally have liked to have met your husband via the Internet? Don't suggest it until you try it.
6. "Go out on the dance floor and catch that bouquet - you're single." - I am well aware that I am single and I am also well aware that the DJ is screaming for All the Single Ladies to get on the dance floor. Clearly, I don't want to so leave me alone.
7. "There are plenty of fish in the sea." - No shit. No part of me thinks the pond has dried up - I have not once complained that there are no single men left. Yes, I think the fish on eHarmony are from a different school but I am well aware that there are plenty of great single men.
8. "Are you gay?" - Yep. I haven't dated a guy for a few years so I decided to change to gay. My best friend and I are together often (as we always have been) but since we haven't met the right men, we just decided to date each other. Shhhhhh, don't tell.
9. "Maybe you are not looking in the right places." - Yeah, no shit Sherlock. Hopefully, you are going to tell me next that I should go to the Singles class at church.
10. "If you stop looking, you will totally find him." - Does that mean I have to leave my binoculars at home?
11. "You need to put yourself out there more." - I need to put out? I thought the Rules told me to wait until at least the second date.
And last but certainly not least...
12. "It will happen when you least expect it." - If you have read this blog at all, you should have known this one was coming. What you mean to say is that you will be surprised by some part of the scenario when you meet the right person. When I least expect it is when it is least likely to happen - like when I am sleeping, or when I am at my parents house for dinner, or when I am in the public bathroom at work.
Let me be clear about something, these conversations are typically with a random acquaintance that has chosen to feel sorry for me because I am not married. What I really want to say is thank you for your very unsolicited advice but no part of me is worried that I won't meet the right person. I can honestly say that I have never been happier so please, please don't decide that me being single means otherwise.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
No kids...
For the first time in a long time, I have about 24 things I want to write about but this takes the cake.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-childfree-friends-2595394/
A sent me this article this morning and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. In summary, the article talks about phrases heard from parents to people who don't have kids. Some of them coincide with things I commonly have heard from married people as the single friend. Let me be the first to say that I by no means think any ones intent is to be malicious or intentionally insensitive but it in a way, I think everyone could stand to learn a little from this article (myself included). My thoughts on some of the points:
1. "When will you finally have kids?" - This is similar to asking a girl when she is getting engaged but on a much more sensitive level. Who knows? Granted - no one has ever asked me this for obvious reasons but I have heard it asked a million times. I have asked it and will be careful not to do so again (well, except maybe my very closest friends).
3. "I only invited other parents." - While I get it, this statement is making a decision for me - you are telling me that I would not want to do something because kids are involved which most of the time is not true. It has happened to me as a single person too - not being included because I don't have a significant other - and yes it stings a little. On the contrary, I have had a friend throw this one back at me - well, you don't invite me because I have kids. True - sometimes. Mostly, spur of the moment outings are when I would tend to leave friends with kids out - I assume it is hard for you to get away at a moments notice.
4. "Are you hungover?" - I love this one because I hear it all the time. Granted the answer is probably yes some of the time but being made to feel like a college kid because I go out often is annoying. Absolutely, I go out more often than most anyone with kids. Why? Well, I am not going to meet a great guy while I am sitting on my couch - as a single person - you have to get out there a little more whether it be to a bar or to any type of social function. Yes, there are absolutely nights where all I want to do is stay home but if I gave into that every night - I would remain single the rest of my life. On average, I "go out" two or three times a week. Does that mean I go get rip roaring drunk and make an ass out of myself three nights a week? No (usually just once a week).
5. "You are so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel." - True - I can't complain about my travel schedule but you can look at it this way - your kids will be 18 long before mine and you can travel then. I will probably still be changing diapers.
9. "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back." - This is always hits home to me - somehow because you have a child it is okay to ignore your friends? Look - I am busy too. Being made to feel like my time is not as important as yours make me feel like shit.
10. "You wouldn't understand." - Years ago, a friend hurt my feelings so bad when she said this to me. I don't understand because I am not a mom. Well, be careful who you say that to - it's not like there is not a part of me that wants to understand. I haven't met the right guy and therefore have never been presented the opportunity to have kids. So no, I don't understand everything but assuming that I don't want to understand is just rude.
On a total separate note, anyone want to go out tonight?
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-childfree-friends-2595394/
A sent me this article this morning and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. In summary, the article talks about phrases heard from parents to people who don't have kids. Some of them coincide with things I commonly have heard from married people as the single friend. Let me be the first to say that I by no means think any ones intent is to be malicious or intentionally insensitive but it in a way, I think everyone could stand to learn a little from this article (myself included). My thoughts on some of the points:
1. "When will you finally have kids?" - This is similar to asking a girl when she is getting engaged but on a much more sensitive level. Who knows? Granted - no one has ever asked me this for obvious reasons but I have heard it asked a million times. I have asked it and will be careful not to do so again (well, except maybe my very closest friends).
3. "I only invited other parents." - While I get it, this statement is making a decision for me - you are telling me that I would not want to do something because kids are involved which most of the time is not true. It has happened to me as a single person too - not being included because I don't have a significant other - and yes it stings a little. On the contrary, I have had a friend throw this one back at me - well, you don't invite me because I have kids. True - sometimes. Mostly, spur of the moment outings are when I would tend to leave friends with kids out - I assume it is hard for you to get away at a moments notice.
4. "Are you hungover?" - I love this one because I hear it all the time. Granted the answer is probably yes some of the time but being made to feel like a college kid because I go out often is annoying. Absolutely, I go out more often than most anyone with kids. Why? Well, I am not going to meet a great guy while I am sitting on my couch - as a single person - you have to get out there a little more whether it be to a bar or to any type of social function. Yes, there are absolutely nights where all I want to do is stay home but if I gave into that every night - I would remain single the rest of my life. On average, I "go out" two or three times a week. Does that mean I go get rip roaring drunk and make an ass out of myself three nights a week? No (usually just once a week).
5. "You are so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel." - True - I can't complain about my travel schedule but you can look at it this way - your kids will be 18 long before mine and you can travel then. I will probably still be changing diapers.
9. "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back." - This is always hits home to me - somehow because you have a child it is okay to ignore your friends? Look - I am busy too. Being made to feel like my time is not as important as yours make me feel like shit.
10. "You wouldn't understand." - Years ago, a friend hurt my feelings so bad when she said this to me. I don't understand because I am not a mom. Well, be careful who you say that to - it's not like there is not a part of me that wants to understand. I haven't met the right guy and therefore have never been presented the opportunity to have kids. So no, I don't understand everything but assuming that I don't want to understand is just rude.
On a total separate note, anyone want to go out tonight?
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