No kids...

For the first time in a long time, I have about 24 things I want to write about but this takes the cake.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-childfree-friends-2595394/

A sent me this article this morning and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.   In summary, the article talks about phrases heard from parents to people who don't have kids.   Some of them coincide with things I commonly have heard from married people as the single friend.   Let me be the first to say that I by no means think any ones intent is to be malicious or intentionally insensitive but it in a way, I think everyone could stand to learn a little from this article (myself included).   My thoughts on some of the points:

1. "When will you finally have kids?" - This is similar to asking a girl when she is getting engaged but on a much more sensitive level.   Who knows?   Granted - no one has ever asked me this for obvious reasons but I have heard it asked a million times.   I have asked it and will be careful not to do so again (well, except maybe my very closest friends).  

3.  "I only invited other parents." - While I get it, this statement is making a decision for me - you are telling me that I would not want to do something because kids are involved which most of the time is not true.   It has happened to me as a single person too - not being included because I don't have a significant other - and yes it stings a little.  On the contrary, I have had a friend throw this one back at me - well, you don't invite me because I have kids.   True - sometimes.   Mostly, spur of the moment outings are when I would tend to leave friends with kids out - I assume it is hard for you to get away at a moments notice.  

4. "Are you hungover?" - I love this one because I hear it all the time.  Granted the answer is probably yes some of the time but being made to feel like a college kid because I go out often is annoying.   Absolutely, I go out more often than most anyone with kids.   Why?  Well, I am not going to meet a great guy while I am sitting on my couch - as a single person - you have to get out there a little more whether it be to a bar or to any type of social function.   Yes, there are absolutely nights where all I want to do is stay home but if I gave into that every night - I would remain single the rest of my life.   On average, I "go out" two or three times a week.   Does that mean I go get rip roaring drunk and make an ass out of myself three nights a week?  No (usually just once a week).  

5. "You are so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel." - True - I can't complain about my travel schedule but you can look at it this way - your kids will be 18 long before mine and you can travel then.   I will probably still be changing diapers. 

9.  "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back."  -  This is always hits home to me - somehow because you have a child it is okay to ignore your friends?   Look - I am busy too.   Being made to feel like my time is not as important as yours make me feel like shit.  

10. "You wouldn't understand." - Years ago, a friend hurt my feelings so bad when she said this to me.   I don't understand because I am not a mom.   Well, be careful who you say that to - it's not like there is not a part of me that wants to understand.   I haven't met the right guy and therefore have never been presented the opportunity to have kids.   So no, I don't understand everything but assuming that I don't want to understand is just rude.  

On a total separate note, anyone want to go out tonight?