The Pad

Am I the only one who is seriously concerned about the longevity of the best show on television?   I know it can't just be me that noticed the obvious struggle that is the Bachelor Pad this season.   It seems like they spent their entire budget on getting Reid and Ed there but then had nothing left.   Therefore, they scraped the bottom of the barrel for the remaining cast.   Why else would they put "fans" of the show on there?

When I heard Reid was going to be on the Pad, I must have failed to read on.   Yes, he and Chris Lampton are my two favorite bachelors and they have always seemed to be the most normal of the fame whores.   To hear Reid was stooping to this level was a little heart breaking.   Well, until I made up in my mind that surely ABC must have made him a deal he could not refuse.   Ed would be the next biggest name on the show - mostly because he was engaged to Jillian.   So, I assume they had to be paid or else they wouldn't make the time.  

So, the entrance of the rest of the cast was pretty disappointing.   You have the handful of people from the most recent Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons and then a whole lot of nothing.   Here are my thoughts on each person:

Blakely - Put your boobs away.   I am sorry but the attraction to this girl is beyond me.   She realized a lot about herself after Ben's season so she went back to school to be a Professional Waxer.   SOOOO, you went from showing your who-ha to looking at who-ha's.   Major step up.   All signs point to her being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Chris - The man whore of the season is shocking to me - he is cute but I do not get the infatuation that clearly all the girls have for him.   I guess I am missing something.

Ed - Classy, classy guy.   Within ten minutes of the show starting, he admits to America that he cheated on his fiance.   He proceeds to get rip roaring drunk and stripping before the show really even got started.   Apparently, he is known for being the drunk, ladies man.   What an admirable quality.   At least it makes for some awesome TV watching!  

Erica Rose - Dude get off reality television and get a real job.  WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY BRING HER BACK?    I would take another super fan over having to hear her bitch and moan about how she doesn't get why people make fun of her looks.   Nothing on your body moves including your hair.   Way to represent Houston.    Her immediate hatred for the super fans bugged me mostly because she acts like reality television hopping somehow entitles her to be better than people?   You have to start somewhere, right?

Jaclyn - What is it with the ugly girls on this show talking the most shit about everyone else?   Shut your pie hole and go visit Erica Roses' dad please.    

Jamie - All I remember about her is how awkwardly she kissed Ben - apparently her mission this week was to make sure America knows that she got some lessons since.    Thank you Chris for acting as the dummy for her to model on.

Kalon - You coupled with Erica Rose give Houston a really great name.  

Lyndzi - Other than the spelling of her name, I like her.  Well, I liked her until I saw the previews that she falls for Kalon.   REALLY?  

Michael - Didn't you win the last time?   I find it a little unfair for him to be back.   But, at least he is there to find love.   I have an idea Stag - be like every other normal human being in this world and find love off of TV.  Oh yeah, and get a job. 

Nick -  Why does every personal trainer on this show feel the need to do push ups with someone on their back?   We get it, you are strong.  

Rachel - She is my favorite.

Reid - I love him and I love that he went to bat for one of the only normal girls there.  He also had some of the best one-liners of the night.   "Oh twins, all I want to do is hand them some double mint."  "Reid and Paige would make a great team.   Get it - Reid the Paige. "  Although the drama with Ed is likely going to ruin my crush on him, I like him for now. 

Ryan - Who the hell is he? 

Sarah - Who the hell is she?

Tony - Isn't he the guy that left the Bachelorette because he couldn't be away from his  kid?   Makes perfect sense for you to turn around and go right back on television.  

All the fans - Look, I think the fan thing is stupid.   I think they are stupid for thinking they have a shot in hell at making it anywhere on this show.   I am so sure that the producers are going to let the newbies run away with this competition.   Granted the dude that leaked the plan was ridiculous but at least he had a shred of intelligence on how they had any chance at all.    Telling Erica Rose instantaneously ripped away any points for smarts.   Then the Swat guy voting for Paige was even more stupid if he wanted any of his "peers" to have a chance.   Two down- three to go (three places, four people, stupid twins).   And Donna, you accidentally showed up to the pool in your over sized bra.  

Chris Harrison made the show with some of his one liners.   When he called Ed out for the green shorts, I about died.   Although I think the cast sucks, I still love this show.  

I'm back...maybe

As someone who hated English and writing classes in general, I am shocked at how much I have missed writing.   In a weird way, it's kind of cathartic.  Somehow telling cyberspace about my love life or lack thereof was fun for me.   So, I am contemplating giving it another go although I am still not ready to try the online dating thing again.    AND there is very little to report since the last time I wrote but here is a brief synopsis.

- Liked a guy
- Supposedly he liked me but wasn't ready.  (Going to have to call bullshit.)
- Guy liked me
- Didn't like him
- Ignored a few phone calls
- Met a guy friend for drinks
- Apparently, he didn't think we were just friends
- Ignored a few phone calls
- Ran into first guy
- Ignored a few phone calls
- Nothing
- Nothing
- Nothing
- Out of nowhere, both guys called again.
- Ignored a few phone calls
- Ran into first guy last night.
- Anticipating ignoring a few phone calls.

And that is the exciting love life that I have refrained from sharing over the last 6 months.   As for the rest of my life, things couldn't be better.    Still having too much fun and traveling as much as possible.  

As of Monday though, I am cracking the whip on myself to get back in shape.   I am starting a new work out program that is like the P90X stuff.   What I have decided is that I am going to use this blog to keep myself accountable.   So,  I am going to post every day with a picture of what I am eating and what workout I am doing.   Doesn't that sound exciting?   At the same time, I am going to post a picture of my dashboard so that you know just how hot it was outside when I was doing said workout (inside).   To keep it even more exciting, I will have a someecard of the day so that you all get some witty banter along with it.   I don't know how you could possibly contain yourself with all this excitement coming your way.  

In even other news, Sunday is the big Bachelorette finale and I can hardly contain myself.   According to Chris Harrison this is going to be the most dramatic rose ceremony in Bachelorette history!!   Can you believe it?   AND Star magazine says Emily is totally with Chris Harrison.   All signs point to this being the BEST. THREE. HOURS. OF. MY. LIFE. followed by two bonus hours the next night of Bachelor pad.   This is shaping up to be the BEST. WEEKEND. EVER. 

All kidding aside, I am happy to be back but am not making any promises!  

Dating sucks...

When I first started writing this blog, my only intent was to let my friends laugh with me at what can other wise be known as a pretty sucky situation.   Online dating or really dating in general sucks in so many ways.   When it works out, it's great but it doesn't work out a whole lot more than it does.   Over time, the blog came to be a little more than that.   Well, it was spread to more people.   Because of that, I have been very reluctant to write about a lot of stuff that is on my mind which has totally taken the fun out of it.   Without a doubt, I am much more reserved about what I say and I am way more careful about who I say anything about.   For the first year or so, this was kind of a release for me - a way to laugh off what I find to be a very difficult process.  

Let me explain - I am clearly not good at dating or the beginning stages of dating.   I know with all confidence if I am interested in a person pretty immediately.   I will never understand dating to date and, therefore, will never let something go on that I see no future in.   With that being said, I am sure I have passed over some really amazing guys but for whatever reason they weren't for me.   In addition, it makes for a whole lot of first dates and not a lot of second ones.   For the most part, first dates suck but most of the time they are a funny story.  But let's say for some remarkable reason, the first date goes great and I am really looking forward to number two.   This process also sucks.   The giddy feeling hoping and willing your phone to ring (or beep for a text) is really fun when your phone actually rings.   When it doesn't, it sucks.

If I have said it once, I have said it 100 times - I suck at the games.   If a guy that I am interested in calls or texts, I answer as soon as I am able to.   I don't know how to wait a day to call back or wait several hours to text back and I don't really get the concept.   In fact, the game turns into way more of a turnoff for me than the opposite.   After the initial wait a few days to call thing and then make plans a few days in advance so as to show you have a life, I am done.   I am guessing that my inability to play games has turned off guys in the past and so be it.  Clearly, we weren't meant to be and if I had never dated anyone in the past, I might question my methods but that just isn't the case.

With all that being said, dating (especially in your 30's) can really suck but I choose not to let it get to me.  A few years ago, I chose to laugh about it.  I chose to embrace the humor in online dating.   And, I chose to let my friends laugh with me.   Unfortunately, that has significantly changed and I no longer feel the release in writing this.   I still choose to laugh about dating but just not publicly for just anyone to read.     

Just so you know, there is not one incident that happened that is causing me to write this.   I just no longer feel like it is fun anymore.   I feel like I can talk zero about the guy I am excited about because I am positive it will get back to him.   I feel like some friends have completely stopped communicating with me because they can just read my blog to find out what I am up to.   I also feel like I have offended people accidentally and that was never my intent.    For now, I am done.   Not with dating but with writing about it.

11.18.99

I will never forget being woken up at 6 a.m. by the incessant ringing of our apartment phone.   My roommates and I were Juniors in college and we all worked at a local sandwich deli.   We were notorious for not making it in on time to work - our boss would schedule us for an hour earlier than he expected us to show up.   He knew good and well that three newly twenty-one year olds could not meet a 9 a.m. requirement so he would just start calling our house to wake us up about 30 minutes before we really needed to be there.   So, November 18th was no different - in my mind.   Our boss was calling to wake us up and we would ignore the first few calls.   Except this time, the phone never stopped ringing.   And this time it was a lot earlier than usual.   After about an hour, I finally snapped to and realized I needed to answer the phone.   It was my dad and hearing my voice brought tears to his eyes.   He went on to inform me that the Bonfire had collapsed and he knew I wouldn't be there but just had to make sure.   As I was talking to him, the phone beeped in - it was K's dad.   I woke her up and let her hear the same news - she too was interrupted by the phone ringing.  A's dad had been trying all morning long to make sure his daughter was safe as well.   The three of us got up from our hungover state and sat in the living room with the TV on and our jaws dropped - bawling.    I will never forget that day and the days to follow.  I will never forget how proud I was of the school I didn't realize I loved so much.

You see, I was what most people would call a two percenter.   I thought a lot of Texas A&M's traditions were silly and I was way too cool for them.   I would go to an occasional football game but the one thing I never missed was Bonfire.   It was the one Tradition that I loved.   Going out to that field with thousands and thousands of other people before the big Texas game, where every one was bundled together singing the Aggie War Hymn and doing yells - it was awesome.   In the three months before, you would drive by the entrance to campus and see the progression of the ginormous stack.  To say it was impressive does not even close to explain it.    The time and effort people put in to build that thing was beyond me but I was so glad they did it.   So in 1999, when it collapsed just days before it was to be lit, the school was shocked to see it fall.   I remember thinking at first - well it was 3 a.m. so surely there were only a few people out there and clearly they would not be hurt.  Wrong, oh so wrong.    My roommates and I had to go to work where the entire deli staff just stood in front of the TV the whole day.   One by one, the death toll increased and the news got harder and harder to hear but we were glued.  

K and I wanted to do something - help in some way so we went out to the sight.   There were people everywhere - you could not park within a mile of the campus.   The volunteers were incredible and we watched as student after student helped remove the wood from the fallen stack.   It was so amazing to see an entire compass come together like that.  

Just a few days later, when the Bonfire was supposed to burn - there was a candlelight vigil at the sight and I would venture to say over a hundred thousand people gathered to pay tribute to the 12 students that were killed.   We all walked in silence into Kyle Field where they were going to continue the tradition of having the yell practice.   After filling the stadium, the lights went on and there was not a dry eye in the place.   The next day was the big game and we were definitely not favored to win.   But, that football team played there heart out and upset our biggest rival.   Texas fans were amazingly gracious and their bands tribute at halftime was nothing less than spectacular.   I was so proud of my school and I don't remember ever feeling that before.

To this day, I think I love A&M more because of 11-18-99.   It's hard to explain what it was like to be there during that time, but I am so glad I was.   Yes, I still find some traditions silly and I totally understand why people say some of the things they do about Aggies.  But you can't say that the bond A&M has is not incredible.   I can't believe it was 12 years ago...

What Not to Say...

My post last week about what not to say to kid-less people has sparked many a conversation and has some what created this post.   

What Not to Say to Single People

1. "Oh you are so cute, why don't you have a boyfriend?" - Uh, well because I guess my personality sucks?   This comment is most common when talking to my mom's friends.   While they mean it with the best of intentions, I never know how to answer this. 

2.  "You are so picky." - Well, excuse me for not wanting to settle for someone that I am not interested in.   Every single person has different "Must-Have's" in what they are looking for in a partner - mine might be considered picky to you but I guarantee you there is something that you consider a turn off that I would find comical.  

3.  "You should totally like So-And-So." - While I am sure he is meant for someone, I can not make myself like someone.   9 times out of 10 you wouldn't like the person you are trying to persuade me to fall for either. 

4.  "You are so lucky you are single - marriage is hard."  -  I bet and Lord knows I have no interest in partaking in something that might be challenging.  

5.  "You should try online dating - my sister's friends cousins cat totally met the One on eHarms."  -  Every single time I hear this, I want to look at the person and say - have you tried it?   Would you ideally have liked to have met your husband via the Internet?   Don't suggest it until you try it. 

6.  "Go out on the dance floor and catch that bouquet - you're single."  - I am well aware that I am single and I am also well aware that the DJ is screaming for All the Single Ladies to get on the dance floor.   Clearly, I don't want to so leave me alone.  

7.   "There are plenty of fish in the sea."  -  No shit.   No part of me thinks the pond has dried up - I have not once complained that there are no single men left.   Yes, I think the fish on eHarmony are from a different school but I am well aware that there are plenty of great single men.     

8.   "Are you gay?" -  Yep.   I haven't dated a guy for a few years so I decided to change to gay.   My best friend and I are together often (as we always have been) but since we haven't met the right men, we just decided to date each other.  Shhhhhh, don't tell. 

9.  "Maybe you are not looking in the right places." -  Yeah, no shit Sherlock.  Hopefully, you are going to tell me next that I should go to the Singles class at church. 

10.   "If you stop looking, you will totally find him."  - Does that mean I have to leave my binoculars at home?  

11.  "You need to put yourself out there more."  - I need to put out?   I thought the Rules told me to wait until at least the second date.  

And last but certainly not least...

12.  "It will happen when you least expect it." - If you have read this blog at all, you should have known this one was coming.  What you mean to say is that you will be surprised by some part of the scenario when you meet the right person.   When I least expect it is when it is least likely to happen - like when I am sleeping, or when I am at my parents house for dinner, or when I am in the public bathroom at work.  

Let me be clear about something, these conversations are typically with a random acquaintance that has chosen to feel sorry for me because I am not married.   What I really want to say is thank you for your very unsolicited advice but no part of me is worried that I won't meet the right person.  I can honestly say that I have never been happier so please, please don't decide that me being single means otherwise.  

No kids...

For the first time in a long time, I have about 24 things I want to write about but this takes the cake.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-childfree-friends-2595394/

A sent me this article this morning and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.   In summary, the article talks about phrases heard from parents to people who don't have kids.   Some of them coincide with things I commonly have heard from married people as the single friend.   Let me be the first to say that I by no means think any ones intent is to be malicious or intentionally insensitive but it in a way, I think everyone could stand to learn a little from this article (myself included).   My thoughts on some of the points:

1. "When will you finally have kids?" - This is similar to asking a girl when she is getting engaged but on a much more sensitive level.   Who knows?   Granted - no one has ever asked me this for obvious reasons but I have heard it asked a million times.   I have asked it and will be careful not to do so again (well, except maybe my very closest friends).  

3.  "I only invited other parents." - While I get it, this statement is making a decision for me - you are telling me that I would not want to do something because kids are involved which most of the time is not true.   It has happened to me as a single person too - not being included because I don't have a significant other - and yes it stings a little.  On the contrary, I have had a friend throw this one back at me - well, you don't invite me because I have kids.   True - sometimes.   Mostly, spur of the moment outings are when I would tend to leave friends with kids out - I assume it is hard for you to get away at a moments notice.  

4. "Are you hungover?" - I love this one because I hear it all the time.  Granted the answer is probably yes some of the time but being made to feel like a college kid because I go out often is annoying.   Absolutely, I go out more often than most anyone with kids.   Why?  Well, I am not going to meet a great guy while I am sitting on my couch - as a single person - you have to get out there a little more whether it be to a bar or to any type of social function.   Yes, there are absolutely nights where all I want to do is stay home but if I gave into that every night - I would remain single the rest of my life.   On average, I "go out" two or three times a week.   Does that mean I go get rip roaring drunk and make an ass out of myself three nights a week?  No (usually just once a week).  

5. "You are so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel." - True - I can't complain about my travel schedule but you can look at it this way - your kids will be 18 long before mine and you can travel then.   I will probably still be changing diapers. 

9.  "I'm sorry it's taken forever for me to call/email/text you back."  -  This is always hits home to me - somehow because you have a child it is okay to ignore your friends?   Look - I am busy too.   Being made to feel like my time is not as important as yours make me feel like shit.  

10. "You wouldn't understand." - Years ago, a friend hurt my feelings so bad when she said this to me.   I don't understand because I am not a mom.   Well, be careful who you say that to - it's not like there is not a part of me that wants to understand.   I haven't met the right guy and therefore have never been presented the opportunity to have kids.   So no, I don't understand everything but assuming that I don't want to understand is just rude.  

On a total separate note, anyone want to go out tonight?  

Crash Test Idiot

This past Friday, I was minding my own business, driving from one office to another just day dreaming about my lack of weekend plans.  Out of no where, the car in front of me slammed on its brakes.   Thankfully, I wasn't texting, reading, checking email, plucking my eyebrows, playing solitaire, stalking Facebook, or doing any other very safe activity whilst driving so my reaction time was quick.   Not so much for the child driving behind me though.   From the sound, I thought my car was going to be really bad although how bad could it really be at 15 MPH or less.   I pulled over to the parking lot next to us and was thankful she followed.  Immediately, she started apologizing profusely and we both went to check the damage on my car.   Not bad but not nothing.   I point out the two scratches that have removed paint and the bent license plate.   At this point, I had not yet noticed the other dent.    Nervously, she gets excited and says well it is not bad so you don't any of my information, right?   Huh?   Well, seriously that is so minor that you wouldn't really get that fixed, would you?   Huh?   Clearly your car has a dent on every square half-foot so you probably won't understand this - but yes, I am going to get it fixed.   She truly did not understand why I would want to restore my (leased) vehicle to its original shape.  When I was persistent about it, she told me that she has a friend who could just paint over it for me.   He is just around the corner and we could run over there now then she proceeds to do her best at straightening out my license plate.  Huh?   How much will it cost to take it to where you want to take it?  Child - I have no idea - I am not an expert in car mechanics as I don't make a routine out of hitting people. 

While I was trying to be as gracious as I could be, I got very close to losing it.   I looked at her and said - I have a job which I am currently not at because we are having this asinine conversation.   No, I do not have the time to run to your friends shop and, furthermore, you hit me.   I can see that this is a regular occurrence for you but it's not for me - now give me your insurance info and let's be on our way.   Blank stare.   Uhh, I don't have insurance.  Awesome.  How in world do you not have insurance?   To which she answers, well my dad does.   Congratulations, does your mom have it too?  

Thankfully, I am not a pro at this situation but on the other hand - I didn't really know what to do.  So, I got her contact information and her drivers license number and got back in my car.   I immediately call my dad and secretly wish that daddy can take care of it all for me.   After some consulting, I call my insurance agent to see what he thinks.   Basically, I am shit out of luck.   No way I am going to be able to get money from them but you better believe I am going to try.   Best case scenario - file a police report where she will get ticketed for not having insurance.   In other words, help the next guy she bumper cars (which is a whole lot better than nothing in my mind).

Skip to Tuesday morning, I go get an estimate at a place that is certified to repair my leased vehicle.  $450.    This chick is going to shit.  I call her and before I could say five words she asked me to call her dad.   Really?   Fine.   It is more than obvious that her dad has rehearsed what he is going to say to me and it went something like this:

Me:  Yes, I am calling in regards to the accident that your daughter caused last Friday at 2 p.m.   Just want to clarify because I doubt I was the only one that day. 
Her Daddy:  Yes, she told me it was not bad at all and that is just needs a little paint.
Me: Well, there is also a dent on the bumper.
Her Daddy:  I have a friend that has a shop - he will fix it for cheap - just take it to him.  If I am paying for it, I get to tell you where to go.
Me:  Sir, it doesn't really work that way.  Because I have a leased vehicle I will be charged if anything is not returned to it's original condition - therefore, I need to take it to a certified body shop for my vehicle.  
Her Daddy:  I can't afford to pay for one of those expensive places.
In my mind: You should be able to since you aren't paying for insurance.
Me: I haven't even told you how much it costs.
Her Daddy:  Yeah, but I know it will be expensive and besides you don't have a police report.
Me:  Huh?
Her Daddy:  You don't have a police report stating that it even happened. 
Me:   Actually, I have a completed police report right in front of me.   I thought I would give you the chance to handle this before I turned it in.   Forewarning, the police will then have all rights to give your daughter a ticket for not having insurance.
Her Daddy:  Uh, uh, uh.  It's not like my daughter is a bad driver.  You stopped fast.
Me:  At no point did I say or imply that your daughter is a bad driver.   And yes, I stopped fast as did the car in front of me but I didn't hit that car.   Your daughter hit me.
Her Daddy:  Well, can't you just tell them it was me that was driving. 
Me:  Sir, that is called Insurance Fraud and no, I will not do that.
Her Daddy:  I don't have any money - I will have to call my agent and call you back. 
Me:  You want my number? 
Her Daddy:  No, I got it.
Me: What about my name?
Her Daddy:  Whatever.
Me:  Well, talk to you tomorrow.  

Shockingly, he didn't call me back.   So, I left a message for him politely explaining that I was on my way over to the police station to file a report.  

Honestly, it's the principal of the whole thing.  I don't have an extra $400 just sitting in my bank account in case an idiot 18 year-old without insurance hits me.   The person being hit is the innocent victim - I did nothing wrong and I am the one out the time and probably money having to deal with the whole ordeal.   In the grand scheme of things, it is not a big deal but I just don't get what is wrong with people.   Why does it feel sometimes like there are so few decent human beings left?